The Legend of the Mallet of Sanity

Listen Ravenclaws and you shall hear
The origin of one of our myths so dear.
Perhaps you have heard of the Mallet of Sanity
Which hovers over our House with alacrity,
Encouraging us in plans to which we can adhere?

Our story begins with a pair of friends -
Greenegirl of Ravenclaw and Stacylovesyarn of Gryffindor.
Before the Mallet turned them into legends,
Greenegirl's knitting and Stacy's crochet helped each restore
Her equilibrium while studying law.
During one weekly interlude to craft and guffaw
Stacy told greenegirl of Ravelry
And later of the HPKCHC.
They joined the Houses of Sir Hat's decree.

In July of two thousand ten,
Greenegirl was to take her pen
To Tampa for the dreaded Bar Exam
For which every law student will cram
Since you cannot practice law unless you pass.
Greenegirl is an ambitious lass;
Though she knew that she must amass
Enough knowledge of law to make anyone scowl,
Still she thought to propose an OWL.

Meanwhile, Stacy through one post after another
Rav-stalked Greenegirl with the reality
That Bar exam study is itself insanity.
When these pleas fell on deaf ears,
Stacy hoped that perhaps another
Could help her friend hold onto sanity
So appealed to Greenegirl's Ravenclaw peers.

But the Tower responded cavalierly
To the idea that greenegirl planned too much,
Which is no surprise as such.
"If you are going to fail, fail spectacularly"
Is the motto to which the Eagles clutch
And honor Science with Madness touched.
It is in Stacy's appeal to the Common Room,
Dismissed by Ravenclaws as mere gloom and doom,
That the Mallet of Sanity first came to life.
Little did we know then how Ravenclaw would be rife
For the years on end with that nom de plume.

But in the moment of the Mallet's birth
Ravenclaws displayed not a bit of concern,
Unaware the Mallet might take on each Eagle in turn,
Causing us to hide from it for all we were worth.
So in response to Stacylovesyarn,
SFCorgi said, "We don't give a darn!
For there is no such thing as sanity."
"Combining craft and study is a traditional activity
For Ravenclaws," insisted Isisonearth.
And fricknfrack pointed out, with much mirth,
"Little Mallet, thy can do little more than warn.
After all, Ravenclaws probably grew a tree,
Cut, carved, and sanded the wood to make thee,
And in thy surface, under the light of a full moon,
Imbued thine powers through grammatically correct runes."

Stymied in her purpose by the spirit of Ravenclaw,
To Gryffindor Tower Stacy did withdraw.
She was not dissuaded, but awaited a time
When Ravenclaws (or greenegirl at least) might thaw
And move towards sanity so sublime.
On the first day of April, Gryffindor jedimeg16
Posted she was exhausted from last term.  Between
Eighteen classes, all the Quidditch, and two OWLs
It is no surprise; we could all hear the howls
From her strained needles, muscles, eyes, and hands.
Said Stacy to jedimeg, "Behind me stands
The Mallet of Sanity, if you like
Upon your head it may strike.
Over in Ravenclaw, it did not restore reality
But perhaps here in Gryffindor we are unlike
Those Eagles and might appreciate sanity."

And so with these words, the seeds were sown.
Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, two Houses gallant
Came to share in common The Legend of the Mallet.
But in each house, the legend has a different tone.
In Gryffindor, the Lions politely ask for a little tap
When their plans start to feel more like a trap.
The Eagles, on the other hand, look for every gap
To dodge the Mallet, unless we are completely prone.
Now that the seeds were planted, Stacy had a thought -
Perhaps a physical Mallet should be brought
Into existence so that when it was needed
It could be put to use unimpeded.
And so an opening she sought.

It was Ancient Runes May 2010
That provided the perfect prompt
For the request that came from the professor's pen
Was to craft an object based on a Norse God
And we know Thor with his hammer awed
All who saw it and none were exempt.

It was Ancient Runes May 2010
To which Stacy submitted her Mallet.
With a talent for which we all yen,
She crocheted the Mallet of her own design.
Fifteen base points plus a bonus two
The professors awarded after their review.
Stacy's homework for that class was a sign
That a stick Mallet lurked whenever ambition offered a carrot.

You know the rest.  In the forums you have read
How the Ravenclaws mock and flee,
How the Mallet hovers and chases,
How every Eagle posts plans and braces
In case the Mallet should immediately descend
Before being distracted by our nearest friend.
We never know which turn of the road
Might catapult us into Mallet-worthy mode.

So through the years rides the Mallet of Sanity
And so through every term run its cries of alarm
To every Ravenclaw in danger of harm, --
A cry of warning, and not of fear,
A voice in the forum, a knock at the door,
And words that shall echo for evermore!
For, borne on the night-wind of the Past,
Through all our history, to the last,
In the hour of madness and creation and need
The Ravenclaws know there is no reality;
It is through our madness that we succeed
We spare no concern for the Mallet of Sanity!